Diet Diaries

This is such an ongoing battle sometimes, I wonder what is really the underlying reason for my eating. Is it really my love for food?  These thoughts go through my mind almost every day. Do I eat because it comforts me?  I’ve also asked myself this question is food really my friend, does it bring me joy, really.  I’ve used every excuse there is for not eating healthier; some I’ve used more than once.  My associate’s call me out on a few now and then and believe me it’s embarrassing. For example I would say, I gave up eating chips, and as soon as their head was turned two bags would be in my trash can.  

I’ve been hoarding my size 14 pants and size 16 pants hostage for the past 5 years, why I can’t tell you? Then there is my fake professional moving job, job description moving my gym equipment into my bedroom thinking this would push me to exercise more. Not. It goes back and forth from my bedroom back to my gym room.  I did more moving the equipment than I did using it. As your reading I hope you all can now see exercise and I don’t get along that well.   

Don’t get me wrong this is not a diet suicide letter; I am not giving up. I had a relapse this week worst then before and all these feelings resurfaced with a vengeance. When I relapse I try to read other blogs to search for people that have my problem or a similar problem like mine. It’s okay to stand alone, but really am I the only one that fights like hell to push away from the table.  I’m not looking for validation for my relapsed it happens I am just writing about it.   It may happen again and I may have to write again so here is a *Big Thank you* in advance for all of your support and reading.