This week I was going through my summer clothes or should I say my *big clothes* said (in a very sad tone) so that I can replace them with my winter sweaters. In my house I have five totes each with labels of sizes that I've wore over the past couple of years. Trying not to revisit the past and trying not to feel sorry for myself there are three totes I avoid like the plague. This week I had to find a jacket that I needed for a suit that may have been put in a tote by accident I was leaving no stone uncovered so one of those bins had to be open. It was like opening Pandora's Box. Slowly, the lid was cracked open, sighing is a understatement; gasping for breathe is more like it. Then a flood of tears quickly followed. Holding up all of my size 14 pants and size 16 suits made me sick to my stomach.
Questions ran through my mind how and why did I allow myself to get like this again. Did I really wear a size 14 pants? Starting to question myself and waddling in self pity I close the bin and sat in disbelief that I am now back in a size 24 pants. It took three years to gain 70 lbs and it takes me dag gone it a month to lose 2lbs if that discouraged, dismayed, and depleted and unable to find my jacket I set another goal for myself. Keep in mind my legs when sitting for long periods of time will give in and falling is possible. So my new goal is to eat every three hours and to walk at least 30minutes a day five days a week. Keep you fingers cross I am out of options........
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