Fresh Start

Writing a blog has become a good way for me to express my feelings regarding my obesity. Often times I lose sight of my disease/addiction and take my sobriety lightly. Let me give you the perfect example and the reason why both days are combined. On Saturday I was out of town attending a friends and family cookout. After 2 hours on the road and helping to unpack food and beverages I started getting very hungry,trying very hard to calm the nagging growl in my stomach I ate a little something. However, the many displays of food that caught my eye did not help me either because a little something turned into three plates of food.

I ate and I ate and ate till someone in the crowd shout, you better hurry up and get your plate because this (he was talking about me), girl is going to eat all the food up. Embarrassed and ashamed that my eating once again caught the eye of another beholder I shamefully walked away from the table and sat down by the beach area my choice of course.

I was not the only one eating plates full of food either, I was just the only one called out on it. Like there was some kind of sign on my back that stated on a diet help, stop me, from excessive eating. Well for whatever reason I was called out I was glad and sad all at the same time. Glad because a little embarrassment stop me from eating more sad because I could not control the urges of eating so much.

Every second, every minute and every day I am forcing fat to stay back and any slip ups will only slow down the progress. Home is my safely net, gatherings are my down fall, the man that called me out was joking and I laughed it was funny at the same time he was speaking the truth.

"Because" had he not call me out on my eating I would have never stop. This doesn't mean that I shouldn't never go on outings it simply means at this time the disease/addiction is bigger than me and should not be taken lightly. The day will come when I can celebrate small victories until then I will continue to wear the invisible sign on my back that states eating excessively stop me now. Which in my case will/can lead to a long life of healthy sobriety.