Fresh Start

For some reason I was up very early this morning wanting to posting.  I try very hard to post on the weekends,because that is really all the time I have to blog.  Blogging as I said before gives me a chance to unwind from a busy week and vent about the drama during the week. From the time I wake up on Monday morning till the time I am blogging on Friday I am fighting my addiction with food. Why I fight so hard I really couldn't tell you but it is always a battle going on and sometimes I just give up and give in. The scale leaves me with self doubt and I find myself giving up more and more these days. It seems the harder I fight the more I lose. When I gain weight I become ashamed and withdraw and I keep to myself. I also wear big clothes so no one will notice. But I notice and I feel horrible. I heard a guy on the radio the other day say don't get on the scale, it will confuse you go by how you feel.  So I sat at my desk at work and tried it and this is how I felt bloated, fat and obese. So I guess his  method to the madness did not help me either. What I realized and continue to pound in my head is that it all boils down to I must help/and do this for myself.  There is no easy way out and what don't kill me will only make me stronger. I guess that's that for now.